Starting Over

Let's be honest: Everyone likes a clean slate. There have been times where it has felt like the company has been stretched and mutated by the personal ongoings, and goings on, of the people within it - dramatically and fluidly.

Like a favourite glove that's been over worn we have to ask ourselves: Is it time to chuck this in and start afresh? Do we wait until this thing has gaping holes in it where it's currently only slightly worn, exposing the flesh beneath?

It would be so easy, and there are things, memories and projects I'd be glad to see the back of. Here say, ghosts and realities of the past have left bitter tastes and created enemies. We don't have the loyalty and following we once did. It feels as though we've fallen and are marred by particular events, particular dealings, poisoned and tarnished, it would just feel so liberating to shed that skin and slap on a new one. It just looks so appealing to leave all that behind.

A glove is a bad analogy though, because a glove is purely functional. Disregarding potential sentimental attachment, a glove has a sole purpose and a job to perform (excuse the pun) and it would be rendered useless if it was tattered and full of holes. This company is not just functional, its variable, evolutional and transmogrifying. It is supposed to reflect the beauty and ugliness of the people in it and their metamorphosing lives, interests and art.

This company was my baby until I had a real baby. We formed in 2010 and I have spent 8 years making, failing, learning, bruising, owing, paying, fighting, loving and laughing with this company and the people in it. I'm not about to throw all that away. I'm proud of the mistakes we have made, as much as I am the success we have had.

The work we set out to make evolved and altered. We tried new things, got scared, got brave and got poor. We've gotten a bit lost on our digressions on a few occasions, and we've had expectations we had no right to have. The older you get the deeper your entanglements in life root and it's sometimes hard to remember why you do this.

We seem to have a trail of messy relationships behind us. Unions that felt so right creatively, or mutually beneficial partnerships which worked so well and fruitfully, turned sour and broke down. All relationships are two sided and although it's easy to blame the party who chooses not to say anything, not to retaliate and share their truth, we have been left feeling a bit wounded by how readily people have accepted us as brazen villains. We sadly have lost a few special people this way.

Well, we are starting again, sort of. We are not abandoning ship, not yet anyway. This vessels got some enlightening and difficult journeys in her yet. We are, instead, cleansing ourselves of all the bullshit we have hung on to, which has anchored our confidence to leap forward again and shout about it. Anything that has made us feel rejected, small, incapable, unaccomplished embarrassed and ashamed, has to be left behind. You can't make your art truthful if it's weighed down in insecurity. You're second guessing yourself and your work is censored.

We are moving onwards and upwards, and if you are reading this, we hope to take you with us. We accept your view of us whatever that might be: hasbeens, wannabees, washouts or sellouts. As long as you have a view of us, that's all that matters.