My baby

In 2010 myself and my fellow co-founders created a new little being. We talked about it, decided it was a good time for each of us, professionally and personally, and we made preparations for the companies arrival. We toyed with names wistfully, we conceived what we'd do together and what our future might look like.

The birth of our company was an exhilarating, exhausting time. It had come from nothing, and needed us to keep it alive. All our energy was spent those crazy, intense but thrilling early days feeding, strengthening and growing our little creation. We'd never done this before, it was a first for us all, and so of course, we made mistakes and we made it up as went along with the vague reassurance that lots of other people had done this successfully before. Our little handiwork was the first thing I thought of when I woke up, eagerly checking to see if anything had happened while I slept. It was the last thing I thought of at night, if i could squeeze in an extra few minutes just spending a little more time doing what I loved with this thing I loved.

Years passed and the needs and demands of the company grew with its advancement and growth. The more it wanted to do, the more support it needed.

After some time and adjustment I was able to stand back and look at this creation with pride, and felt confident that this fledgling of ours was developing into something that could try more complex and ambitious things, and would start to need fuel from me less and less. I could wean myself back, into the background and allow other people to interact and have influence.

Unfortunately, we were sidelined right when it looked like our little opus was about to stand on its own two feet and get moving. We had a nasty fall, and the world was a different place after that set back. But up we got, dusted down, and set to again.


I found out I was pregnant at just two weeks. I had my suspicions (we were trying) and I announced to the rest of the company fairly early, as I was throwing my guts up and it was effecting our rehearsals and my attendance. I had always been at literally every show, and every rehearsal, the girls would have known something was up.
I assured everyone, that nothing would change, and that I would work right up to the birth and then get back to it while they were cutting the umbilical chord. My laptop would be rested on the babies bottom while it fed.

OBVIOUSLY this is not what happened.

I did work up until the last minute. I popped on the Thursday and I'd been planning and adminning the day before, having just finished the last performance of our Summer Fairy Tale Tour two weeks earlier.
However something had changed in me during my pregnancy. I had lovely hormones forcing me to slow down and chill out - gain perspective, but I also had a shift in my affections. I had a new baby, and I loved it more.

There I said it. It feels horrible to say, but naturally it's completely true.  NOTHING is more important to me than my son, he is the absolute centre of my world and I'm in love and obsessed with him.

Getting back to work after having my baby has been weird. I feel resentful of any wasted time - what if while I'm fannying about waiting for photoshop to open and load to make this new flyer, B stands up and Port de Bras at 2 months old. I don't want to miss it!

We have all had various shifts in our priorities over the last year or so. Whether its children, new houses, new jobs, opportunities, partners, emotional wellbeing - there will always be things that turn our heads and as we get older, take on more, and choices seem to make a bigger impact, we are changing the way we work...for now. We are definitely stripping back to only making projects that make us wee with excitement. Projects that ignite our creative passion,  that the very idea of them not coming to fruition forces us to nurture and grow those little seeds of inspiration into strong pieces of work.

I haven't abandoned by old baby for my my new one, I still have love for her, she was my twenties!